Lesbianne Musings

Welcome. I love feedback. Love is the answer. Peace , Love and Acceptance. Peace! !

Spring has Sprung! Even in the NE!

Hi friends and followers,

My muse abandoned me months ago! I’ve forgotten how to use this blog! I’m not gonna wait for her to return any longer but where do I start?!

First, many thanks to all who have visited, liked and commented on my humble writings…thank you for hanging in there through the drought…

I’m at a loss for words – but I WILL begin writing and posting again!

What is current for me? Health and healing and Spiritual growth continue…though there have been junctions I didn’t expect.

I am now at the age, along with many, many of my friends and acquaintances, where we become caregivers in some form or other for our aging parents or other family members.  My healthy, vibrant mother who retired from a driving job at age 80 and promptly joined groups in her community for fun and for community service, has been struck debilitated by a tumor on her hearing nerve at age 83. She has been unable to drive since before Christmas, also unable to leave the house alone. On Monday, April 28 we are going to Boston to Mass Eye and Ear to see a specialist for a consultation. I will accompany her as her support person – being oldest child and oldest daughter, former RN, and having had same diagnosis and treatments for it  10 years ago.

The only symptom I had was hearing loss on one side. My mother suffers from loss of balance, tinnitus, severe headaches, vertigo, nausea and generally feeling lousy every day of her life. She abruptly lost most of her hearing in one ear.  She was treated and mis-diagnosed for a few things until she saw our local (otologist – sp wrong – there is a “y” in there somewhere – don’t tell anyone this RN can’t spell medical words any longer) and got an MRI.  I expect she will have surgery followed by rehab – and I expect she will fully recover and be whole and healthy again and resume her active life. She has an Acoustic Neuroma Schwannoma  which is benign. But the symptoms will continue to worsen without intervention.

I also expect that my life is about to change in ways I never imagined. For the past 3 years I’ve grown healthier and stronger and have begun to seek my next life within this one – not sure what direction – school? on-the-job training? volunteerism? I have many interests and a few that I would call vocations – or at least that come easily to me…writing yes I want to publish a book, what natural born writer doesn’t?…yoga and chanting meditation…really want to pursue this passion…healing from a lifelong eating disorder/obesity/life-long food addiction…want to use my life experiences here for the betterment of other people’s lives, out of a strong desire to share my own personal experiences to help relieve the suffering of others.

Now about my Mom? I love her dearly.  Fortunately there are other siblings and family friends who do and can help over time. I thought of going to live with her but have dismissed this as an overall bad idea for both of us. I need to maintain my independent living situation. I’ve even thought of getting a job as part-time cashier at Wal-Mart, despite their terrible reputation toward their workers and the general all ’round negative feelings I have about them and how they’ve behaved across the globe. Oh, you might not know that health problems took me about 2 decades to recover from and grow strong and desire to go out into the world again “to seek my fortune”. I used to be ashamed to admit that I have a disability that interrupted my successful professional life nearly 2 decades ago. Over the past 3 years miracles have happened, and I feel like a new woman, ready to experience rebirth – and a fine time of year ’tis – Spring! Renewal and Rebirth…even Resurrection!

So friends and followers – I appeal to you to help me out here. What shall I write about? What would you like to hear about from me? hmmm, now that is really putting myself out there…if I get no replies I could feel quite embarrassed…but I won’t…life goes on…and I am strong and whole and stand on my own 2 feet now, liking myself pretty much just as I am. So…Happy Spring! Look forward to hearing for you 🙂

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